I shall write a virus that makes the computer play the “USB device detached” sound followed shortly by the “USB device attached” sound. Dee doo. Doo dee. Just that. three or four times a week.

Alt+Tab goes to a random window instead of being in the order of recency

At first it all seems normal, every now and then a random sound effect is replaced by ominous hooting. Every hour, on the hour, a green owl flashes on the screen for a frame or two, it’s eyes boring into you before vanishing. Once every 50 or so times it pumps your volume up, selects speakers as output and let’s loose a screeching hoot. Random popups slowly ramping up “Restart your streak today”, “Where did you go?”, “Duo misses you”. At first just once or twice a day, but steadily increasing in intensity till it’s one every 23 seconds.

A virus that changes the font every time you go to a new page or hit refresh

I’ll call it Windows 11.

There’s a 1 in 50 chance that any copy text command cuts the text instead, and vice-versa.

When you click the mouse button, the pointer position moves up to 10px in a random direction before applying the click.

How harmless are we talking? I’m thinking of one that randomly “locks” the next file you try to open that was last accessed over 30 days ago. It prompts you with “File locked by last user, please enter username/email and password”

No matter what you enter, it unlocks the file.

Then the next time it triggers, it prompts you again, but blocks you from using the same username and password.

Rinse and repeat while the user keeps giving you all their user names and passwords over time.

Bootable USB with w11

I did this in high school, it was just a basic script that spawned a warning dialog box (the kind thats always on top) that just said you can’t close this, part of the script action was making tge task scheduler check every few seconds if the script was running… If it wasn’t then run it.

Since I was making the task scheduler do the checking it meant even if you tried to task manager force close the script it would just open again in a few seconds, it was not a permanent task it was a temporary one and every opening of the script would reset that task so basically the only way to get rid of it was to restart the computer as that would clear the task.

It wasn’t a file, it was a webpage. And it loaded infinite popups showing a dude’s gaping anus, turned the volume up to 100%, and played a loop of “Hey everyone, I’m looking at gay porno!”

goatse

The mouse cursor switches between normal and inverted every 2 seconds.

I was in college during the years leading up to y2k and supported myself at the time getting IT infrastructure ready. Some friends and I decided to write a “virus” that, on bootup, checks to see if the current date is in the first week of January 2000 and if it is and a backup of the fonts is not found (so it’ll only run once) then it’ll back up your fonts and alter the originals to replace the y character with the k. This affected everything system wide.

That created more chaos than anticipated.

I had a boss that wasn’t exactly technical. I wrote a power shell program that would randomly every 5-30 minutes give a pop-up that said “good job”, which he always said regardless of what was going on. Placed it in his startup folder on his machine. I thought he would figure it out and tell me to knock it off… Well I forgot about it, 9 months later during my annual performance review it popped up while I was looking at his screen. He apologized and just alt tabbed it away.

I offered to take a look and see if I couldn’t stop it, and he said yes and then walked away to take a break. I then deleted the script I put on there. He gave me extra performance points (meaning a higher pay raise.)

I Rick Rolled my entire school this way. Write a program that maxed the volume and held it there at 100%, minimised all open windows, downloaded a photo of Rick Astley and set it as your wallpaper, then started playing Never Gonna Give You Up. The only way to stop it was to power off the computer or wait the song out, then manually fix your wallpaper.

I saved the executable in a publically accessible location on the school’s server that I shouldn’t have had write access to, and sent a cleverly disguised link to a mate. He thought it was hilarious, and forwarded the email to a dozen of his mates. They forwarded it to all their mates, and pretty soon no teacher could go 60 seconds without another one of their students’ laptops interrupting the class at max volume.

Best bit? I “taught a valuable lesson in cybersecurity” and didn’t get in (much) trouble!!