Asking because I just sat through a family feud within earshot at a local coffee joint. Parents giving advice to son, who looked 30ish, all quite civil, full of the ‘can I speak for a minute’, ‘your minute is up’ and so on, with some ‘when we were your age’ and ‘you must/ will learn’ etc. Mum ended with ‘i don’t have to justify anything to you’.
My dad stopped once I got out of high school, but mum seems to chime in from time to time. I’m well into my middle age.
When should parents stop parenting and just let the kid fail/ thrive on their own? I just feel sometimes the parents are the problem, regardless of good intentions.
Never.
You’re supposed to love and protect your kids as long as possible.
Not to the degree in OP’s post. If your kids are 30 and you’re dictating what they should do without any input from them, that’s a problem.
Whem your kids are adults, you don’t get to make decisions for them anymore. You can give guidance and advice, but you don’t get to decide what they do
There’s a huge difference between loving your kid and giving them unsolicited advice, which is what it sounds like was happening in OP’s post.
I love my kids, and always will. And I’ll help them however I can. But I’m already checking myself if they push back against any advice I’m giving - if they don’t want to hear it, they won’t hear it; whether I speak it or not!
I think at some point you need to stop barricading them from the dangers and learn to just let them fall, while helping them get up again. It teaches them the value of the rules you’ve been trying to impart, while still being a protector.