When your mind and body doesn’t correlate eachother anymore as they used to. Your body wants to say “hey! lets go out and do things!” but your mind tends to go “Nah, I just want to sit here and think about stuff” and sometimes it is the opposite.
When your mind and body doesn’t correlate eachother anymore as they used to. Your body wants to say “hey! lets go out and do things!” but your mind tends to go “Nah, I just want to sit here and think about stuff” and sometimes it is the opposite.
You stop making new friends, and the friends you’ve had move away, don’t have time anymore due to family and job, and eventually start dying off.
If you don’t make a conscious effort and invest time into creating new friendships (with considerable difficulty since you yourself are tied to “adult” obligations), you can end up alone with withered social skills before you realize it.
There’s also the danger of collecting bad memories or feelings of regret tied to certain activities, like “I should start playing the guitar again…but I already tried to get back into it multiple times, so why bother?”
If you aren’t careful that will lead to stopping doing the things you once enjoyed, with no new hobbies to take their place.
The friends I used to have not only moved away, but moved away to Florida
One of the things I did when I was in my 20’s and 30’s that I’m really glad I did, was to always be willing to relocate. I did it about 5 times for new jobs, once for a new school, and twice for a romantic relationship (including with the woman I ended up marrying). I made new friends in each city, and kept those “new friendship” social skills over time. Now I’ve settled into a specific place with my family, but I have friends all over the U.S., know a little bit about a lot of cities and their neighborhoods and the local culture, and perhaps most importantly, know what I’m looking for in friendships and relationships.
I made new friends in my 30’s because I absolutely had to, living in a city where I only knew one other person. And now I’m still making new friends occasionally in my 40’s because I like to: colleagues and neighbors and fellow parents from my kids’ schools, etc.
all the upvotes.
bad feelings have poisoned the majority of my past memories and relationships and hobbies. as a result, i have had to abandon so so many of them that it hurts. and it is very difficult to figure out what comes next for me.