• AyuTsukasa@lemmy.zip
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    136
    arrow-down
    10
    ·
    1 day ago

    I never really understood this take. To me it’s just a goal that they’re sharing with me. Like if they told me they just got married I’m not going to take it as them gloating about the wedding night specifically.

        • Lumisal@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          6
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          1 day ago

          Unfortunately(fortunately?) you’re not as massive a pervert as the artist. I mean I don’t even know what extra long tongues have to do with reproduction - seems the character they drew is just so constantly horny they hallucinate their fetish at the slightest mention of anything related to sex.

    • Mothra@mander.xyz
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      43
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      1 day ago

      I also don’t get it. By extension one should also see the same “disgusting” reaction about absolutely everyone’s parents. Because guess what, this is how we reproduce.

      Yet most people aren’t shocked when they learn somebody has children.

      • Holytimes@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        arrow-down
        8
        ·
        1 day ago

        I know my mother fucks, in fact she has a wildly active sex life after the divorce. Doesn’t mean I want to hear about it.

        But if a pregnancy happens it would be good to know about cause that has a LOT of things related to that fact that needs to be considered.

        But just trying to have a kid? Why the fuck do I want to hear about other people fucking if I’m not involved. Unless your inviting me to join keep it to your self.

        I’m happy to say grats on the pregnancy after the fucking is done tho, but seriously… Phrasing and context matters people.

    • PlaidBaron@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      14
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      edit-2
      1 day ago

      Also why does having a baby automatically have to be about the sex? Yes you need sex to have one but thats not the point. People want kids.

      • wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        13
        ·
        1 day ago

        You don’t need sex to have a kid, actually. There’s the adoption process and IVF as well. Both would also technically be “trying for a baby”, but people usually are more specific when talking about those.

        • Smoogs@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          5
          ·
          1 day ago

          Which just means sex is even more besides the point of having a baby so no need to be so weird about it.

          That said It’s pretty important in sex education to acknowledge that babies can result from PIV sex.

          • wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            3
            ·
            24 hours ago

            That was exactly my point. It absolutely qualifies as “trying to/working on having a kid”, definitely as much or more so than tracking cycles for unprotected sex. Similar for the IVF process.

            It’s work and it’s not easy.

            • hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              arrow-down
              1
              ·
              edit-2
              6 hours ago

              Making a kid probably takes a year (<3 months to try and conceive, 9 months for pregnancy) or so, unless you have issues with fertility. Adoption can take, like, a decade, assuming that you are considered a suitable adoptive parent in the first place. (I’m pretty sure that many places discriminate against disabled people here, and almost everywhere you have to be married.)

      • WhyJiffie@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        3
        arrow-down
        3
        ·
        24 hours ago

        they did not say they’re having a baby. they’re trying to have a baby. no baby yet, but they are doing things to have one

        • angrystego@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          5
          ·
          9 hours ago

          Yes, people have sex and it’s perfectly alright to talk about it. There’s nothing bad about being open in that front.

          • WhyJiffie@sh.itjust.works
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            1
            arrow-down
            4
            ·
            22 hours ago

            my point is that it makes no sense for a couple to announce that they just started having sex and there’s no pregnancy yet. when there is now, or if they have been trying for long without success, that could be newsworthy, but otherwise it’s literally just announcing that you two started having unprotected sex.

            • angrystego@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              5
              ·
              edit-2
              8 hours ago

              They probably started the conversation because it’s a big topic for them. It’s a huge decision to make and they want to share it with others. They probably want to talk about the family plans they have, not the practical sex part - but if they did want to talk about sex, there’s nothing wrong about thar either.

              • ameancow@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                2
                ·
                edit-2
                49 minutes ago

                but if they did want to talk about sex, there’s nothing wrong about thar either.

                It’s wild that this gets pushback here.

                The incel adjacent portion of the left is pretty strong and you can find them in droves on Lemmy, it’s amazing how much pushback healthy relationships and sexuality gets on this site, but as long as you chant the same things as other progressives you get a pass for having attitudes that are destructive to society. I’m not sure why we’ve allowed this segment to go unchallenged for as long as we have.

                Sexual insecurity is the tool of fascism, it’s not a valid identity to embrace.

    • Holytimes@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      8
      arrow-down
      12
      ·
      1 day ago

      It’s because of the term trying. They are TRYING to have a kid, which explictedly means they are fucking.

      Now on the other hand if you said “we are pregnant and having a kid” that’s different. Your sharing the actual event of having the kid and that the wife is actively pregnant. This also has the secondary effect of notifying those it’s told to that the wife may need special consideration due to the pregnancy.

      No one gives a fuck or wants to hear about you fucking, but once the fucking is done there is an actual actively useful purpose to telling people that there is an active pregnancy.

      Phrasing matters.

      • AlexanderTheDead@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        9 hours ago

        Right, and similarly, we shouldn’t tell people that we’re planning to propose. It’s ridiculous to tell your friends about the major changes you are planning for your life. Filthy animals.

        /s

        Get over yourself.

      • ameancow@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        11
        ·
        edit-2
        17 hours ago

        Phrasing matters.

        Nah, sorry… if this bothers you at all, you have hangups. People talk all the time about their plans for their relationships or future, if you can’t deal with that without having sexual imagery planted into your head, that’s a skill issue. Or maybe a deeper issue that actually does need to be addressed, OCD is a branch of anxiety disorder and are often treated similarly. A lot of people live with OCD and the uninvited thoughts and images it can put in your mind without realizing it’s even a condition and just assume they’re “anxious” but get more and more obsessed with certain words, situations or imagery they can’t shut out.

      • AyuTsukasa@lemmy.zip
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        16
        ·
        1 day ago

        I dunno it just seems like a reach to me. It’s just them wanting to share that they decided to take the next step in their relationship. They’re excited and just want others to be excited with them.