the thing that mentally exhausts me the most is guilt - guilt of undone chores, guilt of unfinished projects, guilt of unfulfilled “potential”. attempting to rest when surrounded with guilt is exhausting too

i’m working on it of course, but it’s a rather slow climb, with plenty of holes on the way. and if it was just internal that’d be half the problem it is, because on top of all the personal guilt i also need to push back against the culture of grind and constant productivity (which is, in itself, a big source of guilt)

the only way is through unless i give in to the temptation, fake my death, and join a buddhist monastery in tibet or something idk