• Wahots@pawb.social
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    4 days ago

    I want to have children, but cannot afford them for an undetermined amount of time. Fingers crossed that we’ll have enough money someday!

    • qjkxbmwvz@startrek.website
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      3 days ago

      Our experience is that basically the only really expensive thing is childcare. Are you eligible for subsidized, or free, care (or have trustworthy and willing relatives)?

      As for gear, babies don’t need much. But for what they do need, reach out to friends, neighbors, and family! We’re fortunate that we could have afforded everything new, but we really only bought a few things because friends and randos alike gave us so much free kid stuff (we bought a nice stroller, a baby basket, and an IKEA crib — basically everything else was a hand-me-down). Join local “buy nothing” groups, or parent groups (sadly they’re usually WhatsApp, but whatever). Most people hate throwing away stuff, and would rather it go to a good home.

      Look at programs for subsidized/free necessities like diapers. There are lots of resources out there, especially in cities.

      As everyone else said, no one feels ready. We certainly didn’t!

    • whoisearth@lemmy.ca
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      4 days ago

      3 kids here 12 and under. If you are mentally and emotionally ready for kids just do it. That’s the big secret. You will never be ready financially. Kids adapt and will be happy so long as you are stable and can provide the most important necessities like love, a roof and food.

      • Wahots@pawb.social
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        2 hours ago

        We are both men, and my spouse is still in the process of immigrating here, hehe. I know we’ll never be financially ready, but I want him here while we navigate surrogacy (preferred, but expensive) or adoption.

        We’ll figure it out!

      • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        If I had serious financial stress I cannot imagine also having kid stress. What if one needs serious medical attention or has special education needs?

        I dunno. This seems reckless.

        • whoisearth@lemmy.ca
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          3 days ago

          Granted in America yes those are concerns we don’t have to the same degree in Canada but all things considered having a kid is reckless anyways. You either adapt and make it work or you don’t.

        • BarbecueCowboy@lemmy.world
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          3 days ago

          So, possible, but they probably won’t. Anything can happen at any time and you could do everything right and it could all fail spontaneously and catastrophically through no fault of your own. Its not a likely outcome though.

          It only seems reckless until you step back and think about it rationally. You can’t expect to prepare for everything so spend your time on more legitimate worries.

    • BarbecueCowboy@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      Seconding other comments, you’ll never ever be financially ready, there will always be new concerns, but that was true for most parents. People far less intelligent and less prepared than you have figured it out and done alright.