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The Magi (of unknown number) who bring three listed gifts are in Matthew’s birth narrative, while the ahistorical census and “no room in the inn” are in Luke’s birth narrative.
They are basically completely separate stories.
In Matthew, Mary and Joseph live in Bethlehem.
The perfumes were for covering up the scent of death and the gold was to buy a tomb. These wisemen were basically told “go find the baby so I may kill it”, and the gifts were “sorry for you upcoming loss.”
Also, Jesus was 3 years old by they time they got there, so baby stuff probably wouldn’t have been a good present.
On the other hand… She just got a ‘miraculous’ birth and three dudes with expensive gifts show up for it… If I were Joseph I would be extremely suspicious
She just likes to keep an amicable friendship with all her ex boyfriends, no big deal!
I’m a school bus driver, and last year right before Christmas we had a notice put up banning Christmas decorations on the buses. We eventually learned that this was because a couple of parents had complained about the pro-Christianity bias of Christmas decorations, which was strange because nobody had put anything on their buses other than the standard secular red-and-green shit; like, nobody put up Jesus or manger scenes or anything like that. We then learned that the actual complaints had been about drivers encouraging the children to sing religious Christmas songs.
It turned out that the culprit was me, because I had asked the kids if they could sing “The Little Drummer Boy”. None of the (60+) kids on the bus had ever heard it so I guess some of them asked their parents about it. Ironically, I’m a fucking atheist - I just like the tune. Fortunately the ban caused a giant shit storm as all the other parents in the district complained about it and it was rescinded. For bonus points, it eventually led to the firing of the district superintendent (who was a shitbag for lots of other reasons).
Christmas’s problem is that it has been too successful. It’s no longer a religious holiday. It’s a cultural holiday that has permeated every aspect of American culture.
The true meaning of Christmas is: it was a Coca-Cola advertisement.
I’m tried of this cynical pseudo-history.
So, would you prefer we return to Saturnalia?
Like everything else it touches, capitalism co-opted and ruined it.
Imagine getting your ass handed to you because of the little drummer boy incident lmao
Yeah, it’s not how I want to go out.
All is well that ends well
It’s quite amazing how much drama people can conjure out of nothing.
Drag supports removing Christmas from schools. And drag will buy the story that Christmas is secular when the word “Christ” is removed from the name.
christ is the xerox of the olden times
How about Horus-Day, since Christianity simply adopted an extant God’s birthday as a strategy to greater assimilation?
Well, it’s just Jul, so we could all just go back to calling it Yule. Literally nothing changes and the Christians can still do whatever they want.
Brynner Day?
Love this
In fairness to the one dude, gold would have been super useful.
The incredibly expensive luxury perfume ingredients aren’t exactly bad gifts either - should be able to convert them into ready cash at any market in the middle east.
They’re all very fungible assets, maybe even more than cash in those times. Except the drummer boy, but a song is probably all that poor kid had to give.
Maybe he transferred the copyright as well and Mary made bank on the streaming royalties.
Likewise for frankincense and myrrh. Couldn’t have smelled great in that stable.
He played his best for him.
…And it just wasn’t good enough.
Am I just crazy, or is the mary illustrated here kind of a bitch? The baby isn’t going to care if you get it a fucking onesie or a lasagna, because it definitely won’t understand anything going on for another year, minimum. If I bring a gift ‘for the baby’ that the parents will use, isn’t that just as good? Maybe gold, incense, and myrrh aren’t the best things to put in the crib, but I’m pretty sure it was some 14-year old hands that opened the gift wrap, and those 14 year old hands can sell the expensive gifts if they want to.
If you just got done giving birth in a stable because some diety decided to knock you up without your consent then you’ve earned the right to be a bit of a bitch.
I mean, yes, fine, agreed. I’d love it if ‘god’ decided to pull a repeat but did it in a state that actually has healthcare. Hello, abortion-jesus!
Here are some practical gift ideas for the newborn saviour of humanity:
Baby clothes
Crib
Diapers
Teddy bear
Rattle
Babysitting vouchers
Baby bjorn
Tea (for mum)
Mobile
Chocolate (for mum)
The Hobbit hardcoverI’m not sure how this immaculate conception works, but maybe also baby formula in case Mary wasn’t lactating since this was a… mysterious pregnancy.
Weird nitpick, and I only know this because it was a bar trivia question that I got wrong once: the Immaculate Conception actually refers to Mary’s conception, not Jesus’.
… I know right? Like what?
Oh my non pun intendedly God… I was raised Catholic. I don’t think a single person knows it.
I’m just getting church flashbacks to mentions of “virgin Mary, conceived without sin”, and never thought of it. But then she wasn’t a virgin at the time of Jesus birth?
Edit: OK, I’m reading more about it and think I understand now. So it’s 2 different things. Mary was born from sex. Sex is not what the “born without sin” is about, but about humanity inheriting Adam and Eve’s original sin. Jesus was born without sex, and Mary was indeed a virgin.
I can’t believe no one ever properly explained this part of the story in the 9 years of useless Sunday school.
I can’t believe no one ever properly explained this part of the story in the 9 years of useless Sunday school.
Eh, we’re talking about Christianity here… Is it really that hard to believe?
If she was able to have the labor portion, I’d assume everything else went according to normal pregnancy standards. So, yes, I guess 14-year old Mary was lactating?
Funnily enough, I wish I would get some useless luxury presents every once in a while. Ever since I became an independent adult - and much more so since I became a parent - gifts are mostly practical stuff that I actually want and need and am happy about saving the money on, or gift cards. But then I remember how my Dad used to get me some high end mascara that I hardly even had any use for because it was never waterproof or some way too expensive perfume that I could only wear to school basically, and I miss that a bit.
I mean I love that I got a purrrse this year, but it was also due to the fact that my old one broke and I needed a new one.
Can we trade? Every year I ask for socks, sunscreen, and cash, and I get useless stuff that is so lovely but so useless to me.
I’ve got a luxury nail care manicure set for Christmas this year that I’ll be hauking as soon as my family blink so I can buy some sunscreen for myself for Christmas since I’m out and I need it.
It’s a thoughtfully misguided gift - they know I go to get “treatments on my hands” and they keep thinking this is at a spa, so a kit to do it myself at home is a thoughtful gift to help me save money.
Except that I’ve explained thousands of times “it’s medical treatment, at a physiotherapist clinic, for palsies, not relaxation treatment, at a spa, for pleasure”
I can’t even really use the manicure set by myself because of the palsy.
For my actual nails I just bite, and occasionally file them… like a normal guy.
I was made redundant this year in November, so I need cash and socks, not a manicure set.
I hate feeling so ungrateful towards gifts. But I really do feel like they’ve gifted me guilt, when I asked for socks.
I know it’s off topic but I need to ask: what sunscreen are you currently using? I haven’t been very happy with my latest choices and could use some recommendations.
I’m so sorry you didn’t get the gifts you wanted and actually need. Especially since you got laid off. Under those circumstances gifting cash, gift cards and help is the nicest thing to do.
To be honest, a manicure set is a pretty horrible gift even if it is meant to be helpful or nice. I got a cheap one when I was a kid and I hated it too 😅 but with palsy especially - and just because it has to do with “nails” doesn’t make it equivalent to medical treatment. It reminds me of getting drugstore face cream when I started to be more into fragrance free, puristic skincare. Just because both is cream it’s not equivalent.
For us it has become just asking “what do you want?” and sending each other amazon links. That’s not really… The point of gifts. Moreover, if I need something, I end up ordering it right away anyway. If I need a new jacket, I won’t wait until the end of december to get it. The things that would be kind of a present (let’s say skincare products) don’t sell via amazon, but ordering anywhere else is also too much of a struggle and impossible task for my family. Or I would need to try it on (e.g. expensive new winter shoes), but then if it doesn’t fit I have to get them involved in returning the item.
And when I get a gift card (also usually amazon) I end up not using it for the longest time because I keep thinking “it’s a gift, I should buy something nice and cool from it, not just this little thingy I need right now. Not screws, not a calendar, not wall hooks,…” And then I end up not using it for most of the year until I eventually use it to buy necessities after all. I got gifted a voucher for a perfume and makeup store once, and this year I ended up using it… To buy perfume as a gift for my sister. I just can’t make myself spend money on something I would just like, it seems excessive.
I know you just gave birth and you’re exhausted, and everyone is trying to unwind now, but PATTTATA TATATATAP TAPTAPTATATATATA TATATAT BITCH
Not just that, but EVERYONE is up in her business. Even the angels in heaven. “What chiiiild is thiiis?”
“Hark! The heeerald angeeels siiiing”
“Doooo you seeee what I seeee!?” ;)
Jeeeesus. Give her like five minutes of privacy to pop him out at least.
Didn’t even give her a chance to wipe
You should not have nodded.
It was actually pretty awkward when the wise men wanted to stay over. Not very wise. https://youtube.com/shorts/tgXTGrwUblY
