I’m 42 (TransFemme). I work from home. Have precisely zero close friends and not even any real surface level friends that don’t live 4+ hours away. Acquaintances at best and none I can comfortably call upon when shit goes sideways. I have no family. They all have either passed or, like my original friend group, disowned me about a decade ago when I came out and transitioned. So no one to put on an “In case of emergency” contact form.
Work holds no meaning other than a paycheck. I don’t really feel a desire to improve a billionaire’s bank statement with my hard work.
It feels like I’m just going through the motions. Biding my time until the inevitable. I know I can’t be the only one. Heck some of y’all may even be flourishing after similar situations. For me? Everyday feels more lonely than the last.
How do y’all do it?
(No this isn’t an unalive myself cry for help. Yes I am in regular therapy. I just don’t have any other avenue for asking such things besides publicly here and some other socials)
EDIT to add: I live in very rural US and unfortunately moving is not an option for me at this time or anytime soon.
You need a hobby that forces you out of the house and interacting with new people. That’s how you’ll form new friendships and fill your time with things you enjoy.
This is a big part of it. I’m 50, and still skateboard a couple times a week. Sure, they aren’t close friends, but the people I hang out with at the parks give me all the personal interaction I need.
Granted, I am a bit of a hermit by nature.
This is it OP, you need to get out of your comfort zone and mix it up with the people. Choose going to the gym instead of working out at home, choose reading at the cafe instead of at home, take classes, join groups, go to the farmers market, festivals, wherever
Reading out is nice and all but it’s purposely solitary and any considerate person will not approach you while reading. Interaction with other people should be the focus of the activity. Getting outside the comfort zone is the idea though.
Book clubs are the way here. Many have a theme, which can help one determine the type of people likely to be in the club.
if you keep showing up to the same cafe, perhaps youll get conversing with staff before you open the book. every lil bit helps.
Volunteer work is also a good option.
I started programming a couple years back and started going to java meetups. Most meetup groups in my area have many regulars that I know by name now and they know me. They’re not friends, but they’re nice to meet once a month.
The scariest part is pushing for that next step to be friends. Meeting outside the club and then actually getting to know each other, being vulnerable with people.
This right here. I met a lot of cool people after joining a couple groups related to my hobby.