Valve: “there are things phones are good at. There are things phones are bad at. And there theres the failed attempts to blur the lines. We here at valve have watched others spin their wheels stuck in the mud with their brilliant efforts to make terrible ideas work. We have a different idea….
What about a phone that just does phone things and when it needs heavier lifting, it doesn’t rape your battery or wallet to get it done? Instead, it seamlessly reaches out to your already powerful gaming rig at home? You install an app on our phone, and that tells your pc at home to install the same app automatically. Now when you tap that icon on the Home Screen, your phone taps into the massive power and connivence of an already working rig at home and streams it to your device!
We are compatible with backbone, Xbox and PlayStation, and of course steam machine controllers.
We here at valve don’t see the merit of spending tons of money marketing a compromise. Sell it once. Do it right. If we do the damn job right, you’ll come back for more. No abusive lock ins.
We call it the steam whistle. Small, portable, cheap, but everyone will notice it.”
Okay there are probably better names but I’m drunk and don’t have access to my full vocabulary at the moment.
Side quest: a Serena Special is jagermeister, goldschlager, rumpleminze, and a splash of 151. It’s not a drink to be enjoyed. It’s a drink with a job to do. A drink with a career. A gainfully employed beverage. It pays taxes.
No, I actually do like Steam Whistle. It goes well with the rest of Valve’s nomenclature. I figured people would just like to see an old-timey picture of the past.
Valve: “there are things phones are good at. There are things phones are bad at. And there theres the failed attempts to blur the lines. We here at valve have watched others spin their wheels stuck in the mud with their brilliant efforts to make terrible ideas work. We have a different idea….
What about a phone that just does phone things and when it needs heavier lifting, it doesn’t rape your battery or wallet to get it done? Instead, it seamlessly reaches out to your already powerful gaming rig at home? You install an app on our phone, and that tells your pc at home to install the same app automatically. Now when you tap that icon on the Home Screen, your phone taps into the massive power and connivence of an already working rig at home and streams it to your device!
We are compatible with backbone, Xbox and PlayStation, and of course steam machine controllers.
We here at valve don’t see the merit of spending tons of money marketing a compromise. Sell it once. Do it right. If we do the damn job right, you’ll come back for more. No abusive lock ins.
We call it the steam whistle. Small, portable, cheap, but everyone will notice it.”
Tell me Valve can’t market that.
Is that a Cave Johnson voice I hear?
Which they could also use in the promotional materials! Godamnit they have so many options!
Friend, you sounded a bit mad. Like Cave. Enthusiastic. Alright. Let’s eat moon dust!
Okay there are probably better names but I’m drunk and don’t have access to my full vocabulary at the moment.
Side quest: a Serena Special is jagermeister, goldschlager, rumpleminze, and a splash of 151. It’s not a drink to be enjoyed. It’s a drink with a job to do. A drink with a career. A gainfully employed beverage. It pays taxes.
Do with that what you will.
…who invented that
No, I actually do like Steam Whistle. It goes well with the rest of Valve’s nomenclature. I figured people would just like to see an old-timey picture of the past.