It doesn’t have to be

I get constipated a lot, comes with age.

I once ate three helpings of cream of wheat and a triple strength coffee, extra cream, extra sugar.

I still could not shit, for two days. then, like a demon, it ripped through my ass like a shit monsoon. my balls were drenched and the toilet was clogged.

luckily, I was at the gas station. one of the attendants walked in while I was tea bagging the sink to wash my balls and taint clean. their surprised scream jolted me and I slipped on the floor. I attempted to grab the only thing I could to stop myself from falling, the sink. It was filled with paper towels to stop the drain and murky shit water from my sack and taint. I ripped that sink off the fucking wall, covering myself with shit water.

an acrid smell filled the room from the clogged toilet and now my whore bath water flooded the floor. the smell must have finally hit the attendant, because they began to dry heave and cover their mouth and nose.

I never went back to that gas station, but I always laugh my ass off whenever I pass by it.

do not pair fiber with coffee. if you don’t die, you’ll wish you did.

I average about 25 grams of fiber a day and am well hydrated. About 20 minutes after my morning coffee there’s a knock at the back door. When I answer, there’s a mass evacuation that results in no evidence. It’s quite refreshing!

I tried to quit the coffee a couple times. I should try tea again