Gender war content is shitty and to be downvoted regardless of whether it is true or false
The problem is that a lot of women are really terrible at giving the right signals, and men are really bad at reading them.
And because men are the ones that pursue women traditionally, what do you expect them to do?
If they think there’s even a small chance, they will make the move, because they know if they don’t, even if that woman likes them, she will never ever make the first move.
The problem is the traditional approach to romance and the fact that women rarely pursue the men they like.
So go ahead, be a single grumpy bitch, because some men try to hit on you.
I dream that a woman would hit on me.
If they think there’s even a small chance, they will make the move, because they know if they don’t, even if that woman likes them, she will never ever make the first move.
Or in my case, I find out after the fact that she wanted me to make a move, and I was continuously dismissing her hints because I didn’t want to be creepy and/or ruin a good friendship if I was misreading the situation. My best friend of like 4 years ended up pissed when I started dating someone new, because she had been hoping I would ask her out. Like bitch, why didn’t you say that when I was single?
Relevant
OP is getting a lot of downvotes. I assume, from straight guys who are offended at this notion. As a straight guy myself, I understand their frustration. But straight up (ha!) - if you are a straight guy who is pissed off by this message, you are fucking up.
Why? Because it’s the truth. Go outside, go touch some grass, and observe how women interact with each other (or with obviously gender non-conforming people). They hug as soon as they meet. They give each other compliments. They ask for contact info and proactively make plans to spend time together. In the context of this post, this is what is meant by “treating them like a human”. It isn’t just basic respect. It is giving them a feeling of warmth, support, and acceptance.
So if you’re a guy, and you feel like the world is cold, unsupportive, and unwelcoming - great! Here is some validation of that feeling! You are right! Enjoy the ego boost!
But also - now you know this information. And this is good, because even though it feels bad to know that half the planet doesnt trust you by default while they trust the other half implicitly, it also points you in the right direction for solving your problem.
Here’s the thing. Women do, in fact, like to fuck. Even with men?? Yes! But what they don’t like is dealing with the emotional turmoil of guys who want to fuck them that they don’t want to fuck back. This could come in two forms:
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The guy who asks them out, clearly a bundle of nerves that could explode into rage or tears at any moment. A lot has been said about how women have legitimate fears about men becoming violent or vindictive when they are turned down, but I don’t think this is worth focusing on, because we’re all very nice people here who wouldn’t do anything to hurt someone else even if we feel bad about getting rejected. However, I think it is also important to keep in mind that most women are nice and they feel bad about making someone feel bad by rejecting them. And so if you ask a woman out and will clearly feel bad if she rejects you, then when she rejects you she will also feel bad, which is an emotional load on her, and she doesn’t like that.
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The guy who never asks them out, but who is clearly into them. The guy who always shows up, sticks by her side at every moment, laughs too hard at all of her jokes. This guy is annoying. Maybe if he just asked her out when they first met, she’d be into him, but he just keeps hanging around, making her constantly feel his now-unwanted attraction. But she can’t tell him to go away, or that she isn’t interested in him, because then she would feel like a presumptuous bitch. So she feels stuck, always trying to shake this guy off or avoid him whenever he shows up.
So the solution is simple. Don’t be those guys. Literally all you need to do is not pin your self worth to whether or not any particular girl likes you. If your see a girl you are interested in, then go say hi and have a normal fucking conversation. Then, at a point in time when it wouldn’t be awkward as fuck, just say “hey, btw, I think you’re gorgous/adorable/super interesting/a total baddie/the girl with the best hair here. Wanna go out sometime?” If she says yes, great! Maybe she even wants to make out right now! If she says no, also great, you have a new friend and you can release whatever nerves you had about whether or not an attractive stranger likes you.
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I’m old, so I’m sure this will be discounted as my experience being disconnected from a younger one but here it is anyway.
If a woman is truly interested in you, she WILL pursue you. Emotional Availability, if you don’t know what it is look it up and BECOME it, it’ll change your life, is the most important first step. Probably save you from a heart attack as well.
Ever seen a mid looking guy with a bombshell? It’s not just money, sometimes folks just like each other’s vibes, and women are less visually stimulated than men. You are seen even when you’re not trying or paying attention, and your vibe is everything.
Lastly the day you no longer NEED a woman in your life, one will find you. Find a way to be happy alone, and you’ll never want for company again. Works wonders for cats
Nothing you said is true across the board. There are plenty of people who won’t express romantic interests regardless of how emotionally available the person they’re interested in is.
I’ve had several women admit years later that they were interested in me and were waiting for me to make the first move.
Part of the reason why many men tend to think that simple kindness is a sign of romantic interest is because women generally don’t make their interest in them obvious, so they look for any sort of clue that it might be true.
The other part is that it’s fairly rare for men to receive genuine care and kindness from women they’re not romantically involved with.
That’s not to say that women never express obvious romantic interest in men, but it’s not exactly common for women to make the first move.
Nothing is ever true across the board. Women are not a hive mind of unified thought. BUT, if your looking for a woman who would express interest in you, rather than vice versa, I stand by my statements. I’m not talking about common, I’m talking about what he “dreams of”
Lastly the day you no longer NEED a woman in your life, one will find you. Find a way to be happy alone, and you’ll never want for company again. Works wonders for cats
I don’t disagree with the other things you said, but this analogy is a flop. I wanna pet cats because they are fluffy, not because they arent needy. As evidence, I submit the fact that I also like petting dogs.
I think they meant that cats are often perfectly happy when left alone.
This is correct
That’s is 100 percent untrue. Women makes themselves available to the men the like. To the men that they don’t they swipe left. She’s only being mean to the ugugs. Might be us… https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-guys-unless-you-are-really-hot-you-are-probably-better-off-not-wasting-your-2ddf370a6e9a#%3A~%3Atext=This+study+was+conducted+to%2C16.8*ln(like%25)+52.3
Tinder is not the only place where people express romantic interest in others.
Not but it’s verifiable numbers, that are observed trends.
And if a man is nice to a woman, or other men, people think he wants to sleep with them. So we should all be mean to each other just to be safe, because that’s easier than changing our collective attitudes towards men, sexuality, and men’s emotions.
Uh… Bitch…? Sorry had to throw that in there just in case.
Joke’s on you, we’ll just interpret your slight meanness as flirtatious teasing.
Phew the comments here. Chill out people, it’s a meme. And seeing the new “alpha-male” era we are in, she’s not wrong.
The “alpha-male” era manosphere enjoyers don’t care. This meme is basically ammunition to say “see, we need to end universal suffrage” to their communities
As a woman I have to say this is true. If you smile there will be at least one “funny” or “nice” message in the end of the day
As a man neither me nor my friends to my knowledge ever texted, messaged or try to communicate with a woman just because she smiled, laughed or joined the conversation in any way. However I’ve met with many delusional women whom thought men responding to them in a normal manner because of their early communication as a sign of those men attracted to them, trying to hook up etc… This being said, I know for a fact that there are also delusional men around whom would think you’re giving signals even though you’re not. However that’s not the standard nor they are a majority, neither men nor women. If you’re finding yourself in such an environment then you should realize you’re not in a healthy environment nor the people around you are normal.
There are always exception but women live in constant fear. We can’t know if you are a nice guy or a “nice guy” and so we build a wall. There are FOR SURE pscyco women as there are men, and good people also exist, the fact is that being a woman is already dangerous in the world we live in. As a woman I tend to stay professional and serious in enviroments that I don’t want attention because I had very bad experiences with co workers before. I can’t be rude or mean, it’s not even who I am, but I have to be stone face.
Also, I’m old. Maybe the new generation of men are better and things will be better for the young girls
edit: I’m in my phone, in a car,.with no glasses so sorry for any mistakes lol
I understand that the world we live in is dangerous for women and children. I also respect your personal experience. In the end I can’t change what you experienced and you can’t change mine. I’m just against making a generalization and classifying people as one or another. In the end we are products of our environment and any generalisation we make is the result of what we know/experienced instead of being objective. As for the age I don’t agree with it but I also acknowledge that times are changing and our values changing with it.
I wish you well and I hope that you’ll have better experience and be happy. Take care, stay safe and healthy.
Ha jokes on you I’m too autistic to know if you are being mean or not. Now do you want to hear me ramble about random shit for two hours straight till I stop because physically can’t talk anymore? There is only one answer and you don’t have a choice, this ain’t Fallout 1.
So then stay single and grumpy I guess haha
I have those random realisations on the theme of ‘hey that woman who was on my sofa last month wanted to have sex with me’
Make sure you’re really mean else I may not notice.
Last month? Takes years in my case.
I have those random realisations
I definitely have moments when I wonder if I could have played my cards better. But I’ve also catastrophically misread interactions and embarrassed myself to the point where we just stopped talking to each other entirely.
Also been friends with someone who doggedly insisted “We’re just friends”, then decided she wanted me one night, then insisted it meant nothing and she just wanted to be friends again. shrug
Romance just be like that sometimes.
Even worse, “hey that woman has given me no signals whatsoever but I think she’s hot so who knows, she might want to sleep with me, let’s escalate and find out, what’s the worst that can happen”
As a guy, I do the same. I try to make women feel as bad as possible so they leave me alone. Because its all about how i feel. Im the main character.
You think you’re cooking with this reverse meme, but you’re actually doing “where is my straight pride” bullshit. People do live like that. On average, men are already like that.
Not the men I know. I think men are awesome. But if you dont, I understand you dont like my cooking. :)
Phew, sounds like i made the right choice being a sexist misogynist
sexist misogynist
As opposed to?
Sorry typo, i meant sexy misogynist
A racist misandrist, obviously
Oh duh. How silly of me to not consider this possibility.
“I don’t hate you because you’re of different race, I hate you because you’re a woman.”
I think a racist misandrist double hates on women of a race they don’t like. Or does the double negative cancel out and they get a hard-on for women of a race they don’t like? I’m confus
Hey mate:
- Mysandry: Hatred of men
- Mysoginy: Hatred of women.
- Misantropy: Hatred of man, regardless of gender.
It’s a common mistake to make.
Oh shit yes. I don’t word. Thanks!
Well if this administration is any indication, it’s the latter. Except they still hate them in public
I hate when a woman is mean to me for doing something nice like holding the door because she thinks I want to sleep with her. No ma’am, I don’t. I was just being nice. My wife has all that other stuff covered.
Yeah I get the message here but this is just a femcel meme.
I’m just happy that around me, everyone just holds doors for everyone else, regardless of gender. Guys hold open doors for guys. Girls hold open doors for guys. It’s not weird.
It’s the way it should be
It’s was weird hearing the “debates” about where or not men should still open doors for women in an equal society when the obvious solution was for everyone to hold doors open for everyone else. Are you at the door first? Hold it open. Is the other person’s hands full? Hold it open.
Sad thing is that having a spouse doesn’t at all stop a hell of a lot of people. To be clear, I’m not saying this is limited to men…all genders do this. I’ve personally never understood why. If you don’t want to be with your significant other, break up with them. It’s a zillion times worse to betray their trust and intimacy and then break up anyway when they find out.
That’s why we don’t live in a nice world, people are and people are shit to each other.
People are the problem. Get away from them, and bad stuff will happen much less.
Every time I’ve been in trouble, people went out of their way to do a good thing for a stranger they had no connection to.
People are the problem
Words of someone that rarely leaves their house
it’s ok.
I’m a little mean to bitches because if you treat them like women they think they can be mean to you.
That sounds like equality of treatment and we all know that isn’t fair to some.
Unironically true.
If you tell a homeless person that they are not allowed to ride busses it is not the same as telling Jeff Bezos that he cannot ride busses.
Not really in the context of the discussion.
As just a random guy, I might conflate their kindness for interest because I get so little attention and positive reinforcement. No one is there telling us we are beautiful or talented or smart or whatever with any frequency, even if you have these qualities.
Your full attention already feels like more than a kindness. And the additional, actual, kindness can be taken for interest because of the paucity of people interested in “random guy”.
I don’t think women are wholly wrong for getting this type of attitude. It has to be frustrating and draining constantly fending off suitors when you just wanted a normal nice chat or something.
Just thought I’d share my older man perspective.
Not just suitors, I’m afraid. The vast majority of the women you will meet in your life have been the victim of some form of sexual harassment, if not outright assault or rape.
So, yeah, it’s disheartening but I totally agree with your perspective on this.
TIL the word ‘paucity’
The pau- root meaning few/little is the same as in pauper
I think it may be a little more complex than this. I’m a man that was quite good looking in my youth. I got fat and ugly in middle age, and became invisible to women. Now, at 60, I’m in the best physical shape of my life, have largely recovered my looks, I dress nicely, and am blown away about how differently I am treated by women now, especially women over 40. I regularly get compliments about my appearance, and due to the halo effect I seem to collect compliments on nearly everything I do. Having been invisible to women for more than a decade, it feels a little strange to be showered with attention.
That said, not every woman wants the same thing from me, but they do all seem to want my attention, including married women, oddly enough. They want to feel pretty, feel desired, even if they aren’t going to act on those feelings. I frequently get women showing clear signs of interest (intentionally putting themselves in my orbit, mirroring my behavior, initiating physical touch, etc., etc.) in an effort to draw a response from me, even women who are not in a position to follow through on their actions. These are not women just being kind or benignly friendly. Here is one recent example. I was at a friend’s birthday party, and was approached by a woman I had met in dance class. She was moderately flirty during the the course of our conversation, and asked if I were seeing anyone, as she had noted seeing me regularly with one of my female friends. Our conversation ended with her stating that she was looking forward to seeing me in class. At the next class, she wore a sexy black cocktail dress, which was a bit out of character for her. For me, she was showing clear and unmistakable signs of interest. However, when talking, she mentions her husband in passing, which made me wonder what the hell was going on. I later learned that her husband is in the late stages of pancreatic cancer. My takeaway from this experience is that she was trying to elicit my interest to bask in the glow of my male attention, and that she probably isn’t looking to step out on him (which is something that I wouldn’t engage with).
In the last 6 months, I’ve had many other similar experiences, where women are definitely seeking my attention in circumstances where they have no intention of following through. It feels good to be desired, whether you are a man or a woman, and if a woman is constantly drawing romantic interest “accidentally”, it’s worth it for her to consider what energy she is putting out.
Fat ugly chicks get raped too.
Your train of thought falls apart when you realize one thing: the bar for “attractiveness” is infinitely higher for men than women. Women don’t need to be “putting out energy”. All they need to do is exist at the right place at the right time.
Edit: I should clarify. As a man, I’m not jealous of this. Women’s lives are shit because they are constantly getting attention from the wrong people in the wrong way.
Context is everything. Sure, men are more aggressive and women will definitely get some unwanted attention. People often think that as a consequence, women don’t want to be approached by men in public. However, if you dig deeper, women don’t mind being approached, so long it is done by someone they want to be approached by. It is the reality captured by the “Hello, Human Resources” meme.
It’s far more about how someone approaches than about who approaches.
True, but the acceptable how varies greatly by the attractiveness of the who.
1000%
