This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can’t be giving out 20’s to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say “oh no, I donate to services that help the needy” because that person isn’t necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to “get rid of them” but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
I don’t usually give money but I do acknowledge them. Usually try to look them in the face and say “sorry I don’t have any cash” or something like that. From having spent time with a few of them (I used to work the night shift at a restaurant and often let people hang out or have a coffee), something that hurts many of them is the dehumanization.
Of course if its not just someone asking for money but someone clearly having a mental breakdown, I do my best not to engage because you never know how that could be taken.
NYC, we just ghost everyone that’s not directly involved in our life. My day consists of ghosting the entire city until I get to work
When I was younger a person who I admired said:
“I always carry some extra money in my wallet for when someone needy asks. It’s not my place to decide if this person needs help or not. Maybe they will use the money for drugs, maybe they need the money for clothes for their children. When I die and get to the pearly gates, I don’t want to find out that I had the opportunity to help someone who needed help and I didn’t help them because I assumed they would spend the money on drugs. Maybe they will spend the money on drugs, but that’s not for me to know right now.”
I thought that was some of the most noble shit my early 20’s ass had ever heard.
Fast-forward a few years to me and my new wife honeymooning in…San Francisco. My noble naive ass brought a wallet full of cash with me so I could help people in need. Nothing terrible happened, but I soon ran out of cash and we decided to start handing out food. NOBODY WANTED THE FOOD. They just wanted the money. I would offer food, and they would just say “do you have any money?”
Anyway, nowadays I just say “sorry bro, I don’t carry cash”.
Less noble person: Always carry some extra drugs for when someone in need asks…
Unless they take Apple Pay I can’t give them any money even if I wanted to.
If I have change or a spare buck, I give it to them. I don’t care what they spend it on.
Call in the national guard apparently.
I lived in a rough neighborhood for a good while. It hardens you to it a bit. I just say I don’t have anything for them.
Sometimes I give, sometimes I don’t, kinda depends if I have cash.
As a reasonably sized man, I also try to make eye contact and give a polite “Sorry I don’t have anything today.” For those who really need the help and are trying like hell to get it, I can’t imagine the insult to injury you must feel to not only not get help but also to be treated as though you are invisible. I like to at least let people who ask know that I can see them.
If you’re in a legitimately dangerous place or you feel you may be at risk in some way maybe don’t do this though.
Say “no sorry” and move along, its not a problem for individuals to solve.
I’ll give sometimes if they’re not pushy. If i don’t want to, sometimes I’ll tell them “I just gave all my change to that guy back there”
I feel really guilty and to avoid feeling worse by making eye contact, I just ignore them. The first time I encountered somebody homeless after being on my own, I felt like a huge asshole because all I could say was sorry while walking by them with grocery’s. I didn’t have cash on me at the time. Ever since then, I’ve just always ignored them. I’m what they call a hypocrite. Sucks
I tell them the truth: I don’t carry cash.
I have given sporadically in the past, depending on how poor I was at the time, etc.
I don’t carry cash at all anymore, though.
Its not like you can say “oh no, I donate to services that help the needy” because that person isn’t necessarily being helped by that.
I had a friend say exactly that to someone. When I asked them further about it, they said, “he knows where to find a cot.” That was more convincing to me before I listened to the “According to Need,” Podcast. It looked at homelessness in the Bay Area (where we live) and getting a bed is nearly impossible.
I don’t usually give money cause I rarely carry small bills. But sometimes. And I will without fail buy food for anyone who asks.
i give them money, just $10. I feel bad and I’ll be thinking about it all day. Even if they do something wrong with it at least they know someone cared
