I could fight a brown bear. I wouldn’t win and would probably die in seconds, but I could still fight it
A lemmy post of a tumbler repost of a reddit repost.
🤌
Now to screenshot this and post that on Mastodon!
The prophecy has been fulfilled.
You win at interneting for today. Take your prize and log off until tomorrow. Then you can play again.
Wyoming resident here. Every one knows that a bear will kill you in an instant, but if you’re up here for the summer, for the love of god please stay away from moose. Moose get really territorial, they are almost as tall as a house, and they will fuck your shit up. Moose are chill, until they are not.
PS: Don’t approach bison (buffalo), or any wildlife, in Yellowstone you big fuckin’ dummy.
P.S., Moose are way bigger than horses. Taller and way heavier. And very fast, not sure if faster than a race horse, but very freaking fast.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEc6ng9J6cg
This is a moose hauling ass through 3 feet of snow, if anyone would like a demonstration.
Every year there are a few collisions between vehicles and moose. They’re more often fatal for both the moose and the people in the car than collisions with other animals like deer or bears. Part of that is because the moose are bigger than most other things you might hit, but a bigger issue is where their weight is concentrated. A moose’s belly is about 1m off the ground, so if you run into a moose with a car, you’re likely to knock out its legs with your fender and hood, sending its 500 kg body through the windshield.
One time I saw a car that had been hit by a moose. It looked like it had ran into a freaking brick wall. I seriously doubt there were any survivors.
Normally it’s moose that are hit by cars but…
You didn’t see the car
Acshully, the plural of moose is meese
Now you’re going to tell me that bison is singular even though it has bi for two in it
They’re called “bison” because they weigh at least as much as two sons kissing (non-related).
At least “octopuses” is correct.
English is such a dumb fucking language. I really hope we reform it some day to reduce the time future generations waste learning all the stupid exceptions to every single rule
Well… there WAS a point in time where english could have been replaced by German as THE international language…
I think this factoid gets spun out of proportion. Iirc German could ve become the language of science or one field of science. But it was never a contender for the language of trade or diplomacy (the latter being held by french for a long time).
This was more a tongue-in-cheek reference to a time period from roughly the late 30s to the mid 40s of the last century… but of course you are correct 😉
Octopodes.
What are the odds of this comment being a deliberate As Told By Ginger reference?
If a kitten can draw blood on me and make me wince in pain. I have no hope of upscaling from there.
A 9lb house cat can overpower me, and I’m 6ft, 250lb.
Long story short, the GF’s cat gets incredibly sick and has to be fed through a tube. Well one day she gets better and decides that she doesn’t want to eat through a tube anymore, and that’s when I learned just how strong they are. Literally had to use my all of my strength to keep her from squirming, and she was still managing to break free.
Well, do keep in mind you’re being careful to not hurt the cat. Things likely would have been different if you just cared about winning a fight.
There’s probably a psychological aspect to it, I have a cat and need to give him oral meds that he hates. I have to grab him and force the dropper in his mouth, and only after months of half the meds dribbling out and the vet chiding me, did I start grabbing his head firmly and shoving the dropper in his maw.
Before that I was too soft and “aw poor little cat”.
I could not keep a kitten from biting down on me
If it’s a black bear, I can just make myself look bigger and scare it away.
It says fight not win a fight. I could probably get a kick or something in as I’m being torn apart
So we’re thinking that 6% of survey responders could be extremely pedantic instead of overconfident idiots?
Little of both I’m sure
Everyone can ______, but only once.
They are technically correct,
Probably also lose on the technicality of bringing in the CLAUW
which is the best kind of correct.
Ending your sentence on a comma should be a crime. It leaves that unfinished feeling
Funny you should say that -
Relevant xkcd. The best kind of xkcd.
Goddamn you.
)
The meme was always “100 men vs 1 grizzly”. And yes we could, as long as I was in the back and could climb over the blood soaked bodies of those in front to confront an exhausted grizzly pinned under the weight of mutilated corpses.
Then you notice the white powder covering the bear’s face and realize you’ve made a grave mistake.
What’s so funny
“Apex predator, high on cocaine, and you’re going toward it.”
I could understand maybe a black bear if the person in question was huge, but you cant win against a grizzly in any world without a weapon.
I’m told that a black bear won’t bother to kill you before eating you. They don’t give a shit. Once they start eating, they can’t be scared off. They’ll go for your meatiest bits first. Legs, then abdomen.
I didn’t need that picture, and now you have it too.
I think you mean grizzly bear. Black bears are usually more timid, although I still wouldn’t try to mess with one.
No, black bears. Specifically the more wild ones up north but the raccoon ones will also mess you up pretty good.
Racoon ones have an instinct to go for the eyes and the face.
Kinda the same way cats have an instinct to slap everything that moves.
They’re probably not in trouble unless they run into an actual bear. There are certainly many other delusions that are much more dangerous.
If it really happened, instinct would kick in and they’d hide in a car or something.
There is always a chance it gets bored after it mauls me and leaves just enough for EMS to scrape back together. Thats a win, right? I’d like my chances firing .50 caliber rounds from a helicopter. Yeah, I could probably take 30-50 feral black bears if they attacked my family :3
