Just curious. Because I think it’s very “rude” in the Chinese Culture where I grew up in, to use the real names of people older than you. You have to address them by relationship like “father/dad” or “older brother” or “oldest aunt” “2nd aunt” “3rd aunt” (ordered by who was born first). Like I don’t think you are supposed to say Aunt [Name] or Uncle [Name]. Names are never used, only the relationship.
I’m under the impression that some Westerners, particularly Americans, apparantly are on first-name basis with parents… like either because they are very close, or very distant… is that really a thing irl, or is that just the media? I think I saw TV/Movie scenes where the kids (or maybe adult children) called their parent by their first names.
I only use my parents’ first names when trying to get their attention from a distance.
Additionally if the phrase mom/dad already failed to get their attention, or if I’m in a location with many other moms/dads.
My oldest child is the only one who calls me by my first name. When I adopted her, I told her she didn’t have to call me “dad” unless she wanted to. I’ve heard her refer to me as “dad” when she thinks I’m not in earshot.
Yeah I do. Mainly it’s because my dad was always off working and so my grandparents, or his parents, did most of the work of raising me. And since he was their son, of course they were in the habit of calling him by his name. It stuck.
First name is very rare here in The Netherlands, but these days it is quite common to use the “casual” form of you (je/jij) rather than the polite form (u). That was very different some 70 years ago.
My daughter likes to call me by my first name because she thinks it’s hilarious
I’ve always done that with both my parents, but then again I’m Danish. It’s a radically different culture. Families are not seen as particularly inherently important here. It’s usually not even a meritocratic assessment of the family as a unit - it’s an individual one. You might like some people, you might dislike others. Either way, is has almost nothing to do with whether a blood relation exists or not.
“An asshole’s an asshole.”
Edit: Along similar philosophical lines, there’s no particular veneration of age. Age and wisdom might be proportionally related, but one does not guarantee the other. Some people manage only to grow more foolish with age. Precocious children exist.
I’d be very interested in exploring the differences between cultures more with you, assuming you’re willing.
One friend of mine does that. I think it’s because his parents weren’t very close when he was growing up.
Europe.
I’m very close with my mom, I call her interchangeably her name or “mom”. My friends know her and I speak of her often at work and in general because we hang out a lot, so most people have met her and/or know her well by her actual name.
I am not as close with my dad and call him dad most of the time, unless trying to get his attention - he is very bad at reacting or responding to anything but his name if he isn’t listening fully. I mostly spend time with him in family situations, unlike my mom who I consider friend as well as family.
It’s not the most common to call your parents by their name here, but it’s not super unusual or disrespectful either.
No, I find it disrespectful
My second son calls his mother and I by our first names and has done since he was 5. None of our other kids do that, it is something he decided to do, and has continued. He is now 16
I’m German and switched from Mama/Papa (mom/dad) to their first names sometime in my early teens as did my sister. I couldn’t say how exactly it happened—just felt too old to use the former. But that’s not universal here; I know people who still use the nicknames in their forties.
I mostly call my moms by their first names. I almost never directly refer to them as “mom.” When talking about them to people who know them, I refer to them by their names. Basically only call them my mom to people who don’t know my parents.
I’m in the US. But I think part of the reason I do that is having multiple moms. OTOH, they are trying to teach our niece to call them grammy and nana and I know my cousins have a similar way of differentiating their moms.
My son calls me mum but his other mum (my wife) by her first name.
I’ve never called my parents by their first names, and I’ve never known someone who did.
I called my grandparents “Grandma and Grandpa [Last Name]”. But my aunts and uncles were “Aunt [First Name]” and “Uncle [First Name]”. I would say that’s pretty standard for the USA.
The only one I know personally has a very bad relationship with her mother, so she intentionally keeps a distance.
I know some do it even if they have a great relationship. It feels weird to me because it’s not the norm. Are they making a statement of some kind?
But basically only parents and grandparents are not called by name here. Uncles and aunts only when you’re young.
I call my mom, “Gestating progenitor” as an inside joke but anytime I call her by her name she calls it out. Tho, I get it. Worked pretty hard not to get called mom
Uhm… sorry to ask, but does that make your dad your “ejaculating progenitor”?
No, just non-Gestating progenitor. it’s language meant to include non-straight couples having children.
ohhhhhhh 🤦
Wait… what about gay couples where one of the guys is the biological father?
I’ll be honest, I’ve no idea. Maybe it’d be played with just progenitor and mentor? I’m not gay myself.
