I once actually thought that when movies and shows were developing, I thought that they were being made within the year of their release date. I didn’t know that these projects were sometimes done in advance or took years to make.
That when ‘Commercial Breaks’ happened during shows, I thought they meant that the actors needed a break before resuming. Not realizing that episodes are already made and commercials just interrupt things to just sell you shit.
When I learned food and drinks were energy for your body, I actually thought that when I got sleepy or tired, I just needed to drink or eat something. Not realizing that it wouldn’t have mattered.
I saw a commercial in the 70’s for Starburst. All of them were the same pattern: Person pops candy into their mouth, next scene is them taking off hang-gliding.
I thought if I ate a Starburst I’d get sent flying off a mountain like the hang gliders. Not in a fun way… eat this candy and you’re getting flung to your death off the top of a mountain. (I didn’t understand what a hang glider was either)
I believed that white people existed because of vitiligo.
We do.
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I believed that one day I would find myself in a situation where I would have to save myself or a friend from being buried in quicksand.
When I was upset about what I saw all around me, I was told that animals don’t suffer like we do. They aren’t conscious like we are. I knew better, but when everyone is acting as if something is true, you can kind of get drawn up in it, and I guess I believed it for a while. It was a helpful belief to have.
My mother didn’t deny that animals had emotions. She showed me nature documentaries of lions eating antelope and explained that eating meat was natural.
Until I was about 5, I believed all dogs were boys and all cats were girls.
That was a lie propagated by parrots.
Justice, mercy, duty, that sort of thing.
One of those things is not like the others.
That adults were intelligent
That the future would be better.
“Benny Hill owns Thames TV, he named it after his Thames van” (pronounced to rhyme with “frames”).
A shame to admit this, but I believed in God until I was 12.
i read about black holes in an encyclopedia and how nothing can escape from them when getting too close and thought that they’re a real threat to me in daily life. i’d look around when i was outside making sure that i’m not getting close to any so that i don’t get sucked in. i must have been very good at avoiding them since i never saw one.
the same encyclopedia had a part about human reproduction and showed an illustration of sexual penetration. i thought it looked uncomfortable and wondered why anyone would want to do any of that, and seeing how many people have kids i came to a conclusion that people do it because it’s mandatory and you are required to do it. i was very much not looking forward to the day it’s my turn to have sex, until i realized that you simply just don’t have to.
in kindergarten my mom was talking with the caretaker about a “life-booster” that “wakes her right up”. i interpreted it as it making her wake up because she’s terrified by it. for a week i was living in dread, thinking that this “life-booster” was some kind of malevolent entity that wants to kill me, who might be nearby and watching me. i imagined it as some kind of evil goblin and i checked my room thoroughly every evening to make sure he’s not hiding anywhere so that i’ll survive the night. after a week i realized that they were talking about coffee and that’s the thing that people drink to be more awake and that it makes no sense that there’d be a monster out there that’s looking specifically for me.
That brain surgeons must make like $20 an hour, since that seemed like a huge amount of money to me. Even though that equates to around $80 today, I was a bit off, since even one that made a relatively modest $700k a year would be making roughly $350 hourly.
We lived by a tiny sea bay, I thought that the place on the other side (despite having been there!) of the water was Sweden.
Neighbour took me out on a dog walk on a hill and to stop me stepping on rabbit shit she told me that was where baby rabbits came from. Took a few years to untangle that in my brain!
I’d look at commuters going the opposite way on the road and scoff at them for going the wrong way. Grandma’s house is this way you fools, why are you going the other way?
