Cereal is the most delicious thing in the universe that doesn’t require anything more than pouring two things into a bowl. No peeling, heating, mixing, blending, layering, etc. Two things, in a bowl, and you don’t use goes back in the place it came from.
That bowl was a little big for me, I’ll just drain the milk back into the jug and put these soggy bits back in the box.
y’know, the kids in africa and all
I thought the rock stars fixed that ages ago.
That money went nowhere near any kids with flies in their eyes. The government got their cut though, and then used food as a weapon, literally as bait to capture rebels who were then abused
Darn you rock stars!
Kids in Africa also don’t like soggy cereal?
If you use a funnel to pour the cereal into the jug, you can have a swig of soggy bits on demand!
I’ve seen a few people attempt to open a “cereal milk” restaurant, where you can order CocoPuff milk, Cinnamon Toast Crunch milk, Fruity Pebbles milk, etc.
The few I’ve seen have flamed out pretty fast, which is predictable for an idea that was obviously cooked up by a couple of rich college kids while passing the bong, and then convincing their wealthy fathers into coughing up the starting costs.
Youve seen this more than once? wut? same or different cities?
I’ve seen it written about at least 3 different times, in different cities. Like I said, it’s the kind of an idea that sounds like genius when you’re baked.
It’s designed that way on purpose. Cereal manufacturers are some of the most egregious abusers of hyperpalatable foods.
Read: Dessert marketed as breakfast
So, like pancakes? Or jam on toast?
Ooh, I like that, “hyperpalatable”.
“Egregious” is also good, but I knew that one.
Until one day, when you’re eating soup and innocently toss in some croutons, only to realize that what you’re eating is essentially cereal: savory edition, which you find so inexplicably disgusting that you can’t even stomach the thought of regular cereal for a depressing amount of time
Who is out there saying soup had to be vegetarian, or that croutons make soup not soup? Half of the chart is a waste of potential controversy
where are you reading croutons?
Croutons are solid
We might need another chart about this
Vanilla soy latte is a three-bean soup.
Neither coffee nor vanilla is a bean. Coffee is a seed of the coffea family and vanilla is an orchid
If cereal can be a soup, coffee can be a bean.
The ocean is a soup.
A primordial soup.
(yo mamma)
“Ugh I hate clam chowder. Its just hot ocean milk with dead animal croutons.”
neh-vier!
That only happens if you reverse your arbitrary categorisations and let them dictate your feelings about things, instead of realising that categorisations are a) arbitrary and b) can be refined.
Cereal has to, at least, involve a cereal like rice or oats or whatever as the main ingredient.
Or embrace savory cereal and put cheese, sour cream and hot sauce into oatmeal. Trust me.
It’s the best when you’re baked too. It really helps with the dry mouth
You don’t even need to add 2 things together. Cereal is great on its own
I’ve yet to meet a cereal that was better dry. Some came damned close (Cracklin’ Oat Bran is my fave), but still not better.
Cinnamon Life
Life?!? You’re technically correct because Life is awful with milk, but Life isn’t anything more than an ingredient for homemade Bits & Bites.
Crispix/Chex might be better dry
You’re right, only because they suck at being cereal. It’s boxed gruel disguised as cereal.
Ehhh, other cereals are just sugary gruel. I’d prefer fewer calories directly from sugar / corn syrup in my diet.
Rice chex and crispix both are delicious. Shame on you.
homercerealfire.gif
I usually eat it dry with a glass of oat milk on the side.
Excuse me, you can pour crack and pop rocks into a bowl.
Depends which cereal we’re talking about. I’ve watching those ‘lets make lucky charms / something with chocolate’ videos and they’re basically making a complicated soup, solidifying it, and cutting it up into tiny pieces, just to make a basic soup of milk afterwards.
The weirdest thing to me was realising zalot of cereals already contain milk. Actual liquid milk, that is, baked in.
I’m still can’t believe some crazy guy 100 years ago convinced the whole country that eating sugar with milk is somehow a healthy breakfast. And the same guy convinced the same country to do the genital mutilation on male infants.
You’re combining the two Kellogg brothers. One thought that pleasure was sin, and that a good diet should be as bland as possible to maintain piety. The other thought his brother’s cereal tasted like shit and was really hard to market and sell, until he added sugar and salt, then subsequently became filthy rich.
Ironically, pre-sugared cereal may have also reduced the amount of sugar in kids’ cereal. For a while, kids were taking regular cereal and dumping sugar on it. Instead of actually parenting and telling them no, the parents started buying sugary cereal.
? I thought both Jackson and Kellogg didn’t like sugar? Kellogg even believed excitement caused masturbation, and wanted bland unexciting food was the way to go. That and dick piercings that would make erections painful.
Dont forget the yogurt enemas.
And both were done with the goal of reducing masturbation.
Knowing better has a full day’s worth of content on this, if you’d like to know more
Fuck that guy. I’m gonna go buy a box of corn flakes and eat it while I jerk off all day.
Yeah true but it’s so fucking good sometimes
Genital mutilation?
Don’t fucking judge my breakfast
Kellogg’s theory was that bland foods that were full of fiber would stop people from masturbating.
Because he didn’t approve of that kind of icky nonsense.
So I think the sugar came later.
I think Graham of Graham crackers was working with a similar concept.
I’m always blown away by these tiny cookies. They came after me and bought them for fun once. I couldn’t even eat them, they are beyond sweet. Eat some cookies for breakfast fatso
When I was a teen in highschool… I was in a weightlifting gym class and I did soccer. When is get home, for a snack if have a party pizza (or two). Probably went through a carton of milk myself. God my mom was so pissed. I was probably half or grocery budget alone for a few years
I’ve got a cousin like you – football club all day every day. Ate like a wolf and ran it all off within an hour.
Then he quit football and chonked up because he didn’t know how to reduce his food intake
I had a project to track my calorie intake for a few weeks when I was 15. It was over 7000 calories a day.
To be fair, my husband will just have 6 bowls of cereal in a row all of a sudden.
But my son… here he is with his mixing bowl.
Edit: when my son went through a miso soup phase, he would get the big mixing bowl and use a whole block of tofu. Probably straight up 2L of miso broth. For context, he is 6’2” and 19.
Your son is producing fewer dishes. Be better, husband.
Husband does reuse the bowl though. He is not a monster.
That or he’s really good at hiding it…
You should introduce your son to Korean soups/stews. If he likes miso soup that much, he’ll find some favorites in Korea as well. I’m especially partial to spicy doenjang jigae (a Korean miso stew–you can mostly use the ingredients recommended to add to the broth as suggestions and use whatever you like because it’s all about the broth).
This is very similar to how I make it except that I use packaged dashi and usually use shellfish and leafy greens, sometimes noodles (udon or dangmyeon glass noodles): https://www.beyondkimchee.com/doenjang-jjigae/
It’s easier than it sounds. Put dashi packet in water. Heat then remove. Add doenjang, gochujang, garlic and heat up/mix. Add solid ingredients of your choice and heat until cooked through. Add green onions (optional, I guess, but c’mon). Eat.
So good. Thank you, Korea.
He would probably love that. He does love some Korean instant noodles. Thank you so much, I shall be trying this!
It sounds easier to fly to Korea
We had a 4 box treaty, no more than 4 boxes of cereal could be opened at a time.
Leading to box reckonings where multiple bowls would be eaten to bring “peace to the kingdom”
🫠
Are the tofu blocks in America bigger or something, because 200g tofu isn’t that much of a deal.
It’s 454 grams, I just checked.
Ok, that’s something
TIL Canada has small blocks of tofu.
I’ve bought tofu in the US and in Japan and the standard block is the same size in both (approximately–400g in Japan; 14oz in the US). Can vary slightly by brand and it course smaller options are available, but that’s the usual size for at least those two.
That’s because that isn’t food.
No, it’s because teenage boys eat a lot
Source: was teenage boy, ate a lot
Cereal isn’t food? I am curious to hear your logic here…
It’s candy.
I remember visiting some friends in the US they were so excited to have us try all the famous cereal brands like Fruit Loops etc. It was so sugary it was totally inedible to us, absolutely disgusting.
That said there obviously is cereal out there that can be eaten healthily.
Ah, so you’re British or? Because I’ve brought plenty of American candy and snacks over to my Danish colleagues and they fucking love them.
British, yeah. We just didn’t anticipate cereal being so sugary. I also couldn’t handle the drinks either lol. Seeing so many people drinking these huge drinks and knowing it was real sugar and not even a substitute is honestly one of my main memories of being in the US, which feels pretty sad. Amazing views at least!
They eat licorice in Denmark, so…
Sure, but licorice is full of ammonium salts. Not sweet in the slightest.
I mean they have weird taste in Denmark :)
I’m sure you could scarf down an entire party size bag of Doritos on your own as well. That doesn’t make it a good or preferred source of nutrition.
Try asking the kid if he can routinely scarf down a dozen eggs every morning. He won’t, unless he’s the size of Andre The Giant, because that’s actual food that will correctly signal satiety.
https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/are-breakfast-cereals-healthy#sugar-carbs
Anyways I assume the story is referring to the industrial sludge Americans call “breakfast cereal”, garbage that is designed to be addictive. And not, say, some kind of ancestral Kashi type of thing.
If it were actual food, you wouldn’t be able to eat so much of it. Nothing in nature would have been easily available in industrial quantities like that, making it extremely unlikely we evolved to eat so much of it. It’s engineered to be that way.
I could eat an entire fucking box of plain “corn flakes” if you let me when I was 16. No sugar, no milk. Was some store brand knock off cereal too. Didn’t even have added sugar. Was basically cardboard flakes.
But fuck did I love them. I miss those shitty ass cereals now everything has a pound of added sugar ):
I do NOT buy cereal for this reason. I have no restraint. Whether it be Bran Flakes (lovely), Special K (mmm!), or Crunchy Nut (oooh my god!), I will scarf the entire box down with milk in about 20 minutes whilst watching cartoons.
So I don’t buy it. I know what I’m like. Thank god I never took up smoking.
“But once I’ve got my Wheatabix, I know that I’ll survive, I’ll survive…” I know their adverts very well :P
Name checks out…
We usually have four young people around the house ages 16-21 ((only three are ours). We’re lower middle class and don’t receive any food assistance. Our food bill straight up destroys our budget.
I have 4 boys 12-17. Costco treats me like royalty.
Yeah for me Costco is almost an hour away but Sam’s Club is about 5 mins. So yeah that’s where I do a lot of shopping. Thank goodness for bulk packs.
Someone probably shouldn’t be your teenage son AND your husband.
It takes an enormous amount of energy to grow. One of my friend’s sons actually has stretch marks because he grew so quickly one summer.
Within limits, I think teenagers have a license to eat ridiculous amounts of food.
When I was a teenager, my mom made some baked pasta and brought it with a 2 liter Pepsi to me while I was working on stage crew at the high school.
I took it up to the spot light booth and ate it.
When I got home she asked me how everyone liked it. I told her I ate it all. She said she made enough for the entire stage crew. I told her she was wrong, it was only enough for me.
I hit 6’4" tall when I was 14. At my lowest weight at that height, I was 165 pounds.
I wish I had been taught to eat a single serving, wait, and then eat more if necessary. It wouldn’t have made a difference at the times when I needed to eat like twelve people, but it would have made it easier to stop eating like twelve when I didn’t need to.
However, I’ve had smaller adults try to tell my kids that they were eating too much. How can you meet me, get a pain in your neck from looking up at me, and still think you understand how much my kids need to eat?
I wish I had been taught to eat a single serving, wait, and then eat more if necessary.
My parents kinda did.
They did prevent us from eating more than about a plateful in one go, but it was never done in such a way so as to shame us.
If we were still hungry 15 minutes later, then yea have some more.
In the same vein, our parents made it a point that if we were hungry, we could eat. Wake up in the middle of the night hungry? No worries, fix yourself a sandwich or whatever else. They never, ever, shamed us for eating when hungry.
It was always “are you really still hungry” or “careful, too much too fast and you’ll feel like throwing up” and also “don’t forget to eat, I bet you’re hungry by now” when we got old enough to prepare meals for ourselves.
Food was never off limits at home, and the amounts were always about feeling good. Enough to be sated, not so much you felt sick.
My wife and I have been working out and losing weight and now the question is “am I hungry, or is it lonely mouth?”
Though I’m burning so many damned calories it’s usually I’m really hungry. 🥺
that coochiesabishii hits really hard sometimes though
God this was my brother, by 14 he was 6’1 at one point his growing pains where so bad that a doctor gave him fucking pain killers. And the good shit at that.
Not to mention the sheer glut of food he could eat. I was a highly active runner and still growing my self and God damn he could eat circles around me.
We would have lost the house if food costs what it does now back then. My poor mother.
You don’t need to eat a bag of sugar to grow
It’s human kibble basically
Try this:
- instead of a giant bowl pour a regular bowl with extra milk
- when you finish the cereal do not drink the milk
- pour more cereal
- repeat as desired
I unironically wish this was a thing. And was halfway decent and nutritious.
This is what I would refer to the extra big bags of cereal as when living with a friend and it was his turn to do grocery shopping.
“1x bachelor chow cinnamon crunch, 1x fruity pebbles.”
You said kibble?
Is that Chiwetel Ejiofor?
Dominique Tipper from The Expanse.
And after about halfway through the third bowl you begin to regret everything
Food pellets.
The milk gets too warm.
… Too warm?
You guys don’t eat the cereal milk heated?..
Are you saying you heat the milk you pour in cereal? What in the actual fuck?
Yes??? I heat it as hot as soup would be??
Y’all eat it cold from the fridge???
Like sugary breakfast cereal or like instant oats or oatmeal cereal. Because if we’re talking about hot milk in sugary breakfast cereal then I’m equal parts horrified, disgusted, and fascinated. Why, how did you start heating your cereal milk?
Cold coffee tastes great, hot coffee tastes great. Room temp coffee… not so much.
Same applies to countless other things as well.
I agree with this one
Nah, its warm like it just came from the udder and full of chunks and mucus, just as god intended.
What is awesome is that you will go through like six boxes of cereal in two weeks, but then when you buy six boxes for the next month they are still sitting there.
Dammit this is so true. With us, it’s chips. My teenage son poured himself almost an entire bag of Doritos into a bowl the other day. But them sometimes I notice our pantry is overflowing with bags of chips because everyone has magically decided they don’t eat chips now.
Bachelor chow!
Can’t wait! I’d eat like 4-5k calories a day, and literally couldn’t put on weight, although swimming competitively helped a bit I’m sure. Was just a bean pole.
Smoked an unhealthy amount of weed as a kid too, and my go-to high snack was a half gallon of milk and an Entemann’s All Butter French Crunbcake. Believe it or not, I cannot eat like that anymore.
I lifted weights (not competitively), had PE class and did folk dance and that was enough that I could also eat around 4-5k calories daily and not put on much weight besides a little muscle mass
Ah and I also cycled to school oftentimes
Yeah that was me. Come home from school after eating a big school lunch, eat a quarter loaf of bread and 1L milk. Have a 2 hour nap, eat 2 servings for dinner, ask if anyone else wants more before scraping the leftovers in the pots and pans onto my plate.
Been there, done that. With half and half instead of milk.
I saw this in a movie once. Ever since I thought it was super normal to do this and always got so sick.
Friday
No it’s Thursday
This is Patrick
Friday here
